REUP GANG RECORDS PRESENTS
All Balloons Fly Away Eventually: an argument for the banning of Drifloon
By: Shrug aka Keith aka JESUS KEITH aka (to goao) kp aka SHOCK AND AUTISM
THE THESIS OF THIS POST, IN SIMPLIFIED FORM:
Drifloon is unhealthy (substitute "broken" if you're one of the dudes who insists "A MON MUST BE BROKEN TO BE BANNED" bc i dont want to quibble over pokedictionary definitions here) for this metagame because of its offensive (psuedo-offensive) utility being too much for a metagame to handle on a mon with such low opportunity cost, especially in conjunction with its support capabilities.
THE BODY OF THE POST, IN WHICH I WILL PROCEED TO DEFINE + DEFEND EVERY FUCKING TERM AND PHRASE I USED IN THE THESIS TO AVOID SEMANTIC CALLOUTS THAT PEOPLE CAN POUND THE LIKE BUTTON FOR BC THEY (THE NIGGLING CALLOUTS) SUPPORT THEIR OPINIONS:
1. Offensive Utility: it's obvious, but it needs to be restated: Drfloon is one of the best pure sweepers in lc. it just beats such a wide slate of mons while requiring minimal space to set up. I dont feel the need to drop replays of full teams falling to wisp - recycle - occasional acro or sub as its already been done, but it's worth mentioning as preamble. And as the modern crafter of flame charge impish ponyta, I understand there are definite checks! But it;s worth noting those checks (+ counters) are so vital because Drifloon beats most mons so handily - it's not like a fletch where you can ask a random mon to live an acro and hit it, you often really need one of the designated floon checks to be able to deal with it. the indiscriminate 12.5% / turn dmge is very useful. [counterexamples exist ("mon x forced out drifloon at time y ERGO shrug your point is invalid why do you have cc you fucking moron hhhrrrnngggggg i cry when i masturbate") but are limited enough to be met with more abundant counter-counterexamples, so im going to leave this point like this; i feel as though it's accepted floon has less soft emergency counters than most other mons.] this, im my mind, elevates floon to a shellder / omantye / zigzagoon level of sweeper - there are obviously counters, but you need to have them in order to still be in the game.
INTERLUDE:
sammyswinub66, who's probably on the spectrum: "but shrug, you just compared drifloon to three non-broken mons! therefore it's not broken!"
Shrug: sammy im going to get there. calm down big guy
2. Support capabilities: This is multifaceted. Floon by virtue of spreading wisps is hugely beneficial to a lot of teams - burn is an incredible status that both does damage and weakens the opponent. this means even when floon gets stopped in its sweep, it often has opened the foe's team for other sweepers or general harassment. this differentiates it from other sweepers mentioned vide supra [hey berks ;)] because floon pretty much always has positive impact for a skilled user - you'll never regret bringing it. [an aside: check
this team and go floon > gastly and maybe staryu > corph for some fun] this is also due to floon's defensive utility. it checks abra, snivy, drilbur, and bunches of other mons (admittedly dependent on knock off prediction in some cases) for its team. on top of even that, it acts as a spinblocker, synegizing perfectly with the fact its best check (Ponyta) is one of the most hazard-vulnerable pokemon in lc. looked at a different way. drifloon would be a good pokemon to bring even if it didnt have the capability of sweeping - which it very much does.
INTERLUDE:
sammyswinub66, who double switches less than would a child of op and kingler12345: "but shrug, it cant do all of that at once, right?"
Shrug: sammy, buddy, that's where you're mistaken. it's ok. drink some more lemon vodka, you're not the reason your parents got divorced
3. Opportunity cost: This is where the money is made for floon: it's so many things at once. it is, like i said above, a fantastic, game-ending, headhunting sweeper - one of the best. take for example zigzagoon. it can also end teams easily that dont have the proper checks. but a difference arises in that 1. you need an entire team built, pretty much, to support zigzagoon and 2. you need to play with five mons until the very genesis of your sweep. for floon 1. it's pretty much self-serving; often, you need one designated mon in diglett and the other team is on the back foot immediately in fear of the floon sweep with the other mons free to move about and do stuff and 2. as stated, floon can be active in the match prior to sweeping. Unlike say a shellder, which can also serve a useful-in-a-pinch purpose in checking things, damage doesnt hurt too much floon's ability to sweep, as recycling is essentially a speed boost for floon, allowing it to work its magic. basically, adding floon means you'll always have a good mon, always have a sweeper even from a weakened spot, always have a game-bending threat. thats unique, and for good reason: it's overpowered
INTERLUDE:
sammyswinub66, who was tutored by starmaster, prolly: "But Shrug, you're not right here, it has counters, it does, it does"
Shrug: sammy, relax friendo. please pm user fiend with the importable of your team for a personal rate - might be good to include the full text of the import twice so he gets the message
4. This metagame: specifically, this metagame with diglett in it. Diglett is very helpful in beating the most-solid floon counters - Chinchou, Pony, Magnemite. this works with the points i made above in several ways: first, and most obviously, it traps and kills the counters. more subtly, it (dig) has more space on a team with floon than it would on say a shellder offence team, despite the two being able to demolish at comperable rates. being able to play with floon means you have 5 mons than can switch in and be useful early/midgame as opposed to 4 (for dig + a headhunter). i might be inclined to look at this differently if dig were to go and the floon counters stiffened up as a result, but given im voting with the metagame at present and the fact diglett has survived two suspect tests so far, i cant in good faith vote assuming it is gone.
INTERLUDE:
sammyswinub66, who asks why i have voice in lc, most likely: "but shrug, i like using it, stfu"
Shrug: sammy, although you didnt directly cause your parents divorce, your unattractive face, poor social skills, absymal cooridnation and gutter-low iq caused your mom to reconsider why she even married your father, leading her to have sex with two black guys with dicks longer than the jump from confide's ego to his actual skill level and film it on her iphone camera w/ custom case a picture of your family in mexico on vacation, send it to your dad, have him weep, consider suicide by cop but settle for divorce instead, leaving you in a netherworld where you feel neither parent loves you, which is true"
sammyswinub66: -
Shrug: dont fuck with the lc posting king
5. Unhealthy: overall, Drifloon is bad for the metagame. it's a strange mon to look at because it doesnt have the typical halmarks of a broken mon and does damage in a queer (ignore subtext) way; it's a very little-cup specific mon in the sense that no other tier has a mechanic quite like recycle + bj (or an element quite like bj). But at its heart, floon is a deadly sweeper, boosting massively its own speed and doing damage in a manner that at the same time cripples the foe while being able to recover nearly all of its health in one swoop. While lc is not a metagame virgin to powerful sweepers, Drifloon is different in its vast utility in a nonsweeping role while also being able to perform the sweeping role in the same match with ease. It can eat teams alive if the foe has the slightest weakness or still be useful if the opp goes hard to stop it while never being a bad bring, something no other mon in the metagame can manage in combination. The specifics of the meta are kind to it in limiting the use of the mons that best check it, making it even better. I believe it should be banned from the lc metagame, and hope you agree.
to leave you with something beautiful, enjoy Pusha T and Malice as Clipse:
https://spinrilla.com/mixtapes/re-up-gang-we-got-it-4-cheap-vol-2