Hilarious NPC Quotes

Today I battled a female swimmer in moon, and she said something like: "it's though tagging pokeballs on my bikini."

That made me think of some swimmer in HG that says something like: "Do you know how I keep my pokeballs with me? That's a woman's secret, tee hee."
 
"Y'all are stupid!" - Guzma

How hasn't this been posted yet. It's the best line he ever speaks!

EDIT: Also Kukui says something along thise line at the beginning of the game: "The Island Kahuna, you can't miss him, he looks just like a Kahuna" (referring to Hala)
 
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(In reference to figuring out whose clothes are whose)
Skull Grunt A: "Umm anyways, we should write our names on them."
Skull Grunt B: "Umm, hello! Our names are all Grunt. What's the point?"
Although that brings out a question: Does Team Skull accept only people whose name is Grunt, or are they forced to change their names to Grunt?

BTW, I'm fairly early into the game but I love one of the possible answers you can give to the recurring Grunts is that you don't remember them.
 
Although that brings out a question: Does Team Skull accept only people whose name is Grunt, or are they forced to change their names to Grunt?

BTW, I'm fairly early into the game but I love one of the possible answers you can give to the recurring Grunts is that you don't remember them.
In the german dub, she says that they'll finally acknowledge their real names instead of just calling them grunts all the time.

Also, Looker sprinting into the hotel room Anabel and you are in screaming "U-U-Ultra Beast!" multiple times.
 
Quite frankly, I see no need to quote anything Skull Grunts say, simply because EVERYTHING they say seems to be comedy gold. I love the fact that Skull Grunts seem to have realized that they're nothing more than cannon fodder, so they make up for it with personality, and LOTS of it. I love it when they show up, just so I can ask them who they are, and watch them freak out. Props to the employee at gamefreak who wrote the Grunt dialogue, you did well.
 
From the BuzzNav:
"Yee-haw! It's that time again! Time to check out the latest heart-racing, breathtaking Wonder Trades! And who is today's Worldwide Wonder Trader? Look, here to entertain us is [trainer]! Welcome! All righty then, [trainer], what will you be offering for your Wonder Trade? Oh! Would you look at that! A Caterpie! Caterpie, you shocker, you! You sure know the Pokémon that everyone wants, don't you? And now's the moment we watch as Caterpie is... sent! It's been sent! We have send-off! Here we go! HERE WE GO-O-O! Have fun, little Caterpie! I'm sure you'll be loved! And now! Oh! Oh! Here it comes! Who has come to us from beyond? Whoa! Will wonders never cease?! It's a Wurmple! A Wurmple, sent all the way from [trainer]! And what's it clutching like there's no tomorrow? A Pecha Berry! And that's another Wonder Trade gone off without a hitch! What a rush! And our thanks to [trainer] and [trainer]! That Wonder Trade was— heart racing! Breathtaking! The perfect Pokémon to memorialize X successful Wonder Trades! You sure are some kind of trader, [trainer]! OK, viewers, isn't it time YOU tried a little Wonder Trade of your own with the PSS? See you next time!"

Also from Buzznav:

(after buying 99 Full Restores)

"I guess that [trainer] must really know how to spot a deal. Let's see, the total for that purchase was...Just $297,000?"

Neither of these were mine but popped up after connecting to the Internet.
 
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From the BuzzNav:
"Yee-haw! It's that time again! Time to check out the latest heart-racing, breathtaking Wonder Trades! And who is today's Worldwide Wonder Trader? Look, here to entertain us is [trainer]! Welcome! All righty then, [trainer], what will you be offering for your Wonder Trade? Oh! Would you look at that! A Caterpie! Caterpie, you shocker, you! You sure know the Pokémon that everyone wants, don't you? And now's the moment we watch as Caterpie is... sent! It's been sent! We have send-off! Here we go! HERE WE GO-O-O! Have fun, little Wurmple! I'm sure you'll be loved! And now! Oh! Oh! Here it comes! Who has come to us from beyond? Whoa! Will wonders never cease?! It's a Wurmple! A Wurmple, sent all the way from [trainer]! And what's it clutching like there's no tomorrow? A Pecha Berry! And that's another Wonder Trade gone off without a hitch! What a rush! And our thanks to [trainer] and [trainer]! That Wonder Trade was— heart racing! Breathtaking! The perfect Pokémon to memorialize X successful Wonder Trades! You sure are some kind of trader, [trainer]! OK, viewers, isn't it time YOU tried a little Wonder Trade of your own with the PSS? See you next time!"

Also from Buzznav:

(after buying 99 Full Restores)

"I guess that [trainer] must really know how to spot a deal. Let's see, the total for that purchase was...Just $297,000?"

Neither of these were mine but popped up after connecting to the Internet.
Ah, BuzzNav. Whether it's calling you out for not using a TM nobody on your team can learn, bugging you about the Secret Base adventures of two random people you StreetPassed without even realizing it, or reminding you how you broke your DexNav chain before the one with two IVs and an Egg move because you pressed the Circle Pad too hard, there truly is no more wonderful feature in ORAS.
 
Ah, BuzzNav. Whether it's calling you out for not using a TM nobody on your team can learn, bugging you about the Secret Base adventures of two random people you StreetPassed without even realizing it, or reminding you how you broke your DexNav chain before the one with two IVs and an Egg move because you pressed the Circle Pad too hard, there truly is no more wonderful feature in ORAS.
I literally use it for entertainment when I"m egg-hatching because it's so hilariously exaggerated.
 

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And now comedy quote theatre, presented by Team Skull:

(Player meets Ilima on the Hau'oli City's Marina's pier)
Ilima: Greetings. It's me, Captain Ilima.
???: Yo, yo, yo, check it!
???: Whenever, wherever we meet you,
Team Skull don't even greet you!
(Team Skull encounter music plays, grunts pose)
Grunt: So, Cap, just give up the Pokemon, yo.
(Player and Ilima turn to one another, music cuts back to Marina music)
Ilima: Oh! You, from the Trainer's School! Already made your way to Hau'oli, hmm?
(Grunts go wide eye and run up to them, their music plays again)
Grunt A: What, what? Why you try to act hard when we're already hard as bone out here, homie?
Grunt B: Yo, let's check these fools.
Ilima: Oh my... How terrifying...
(Team Skull are accosting the Berry Fields owner)
Grunt A: You got a lame bunch of Berries...
Now Team Skull's your adversaries!
Takin' Berries off your hands
is just the start of our plans, yo!
Grunt B: Let's get Figy with it!
Watch while I Nanab me some Berries!
Owner: I'll share my Berries for free with any Pokemon, but you'll not have a single one from me!
Grunt A: So, what? I'm lower than a Pokemon?! I already got self-esteem issues, man!
(Player arrives to help)
Owner: I appreciate your concern, child. Put these Team Skull punks do nothing but talk big but act small. You carry on with your island challenge. Don't give them a moment notice.
Grunt A: Yo, we're standing right here! At least act a little bit afraid or something, y'know?!
(Going through Ilima's Trial)
Grunt B: Yo, yo, yo!
Grunt A: It's your Berry thief boys, back... back again! Remember us?
(Player selects "Sorry, who are you?")
(Grunts stop dancing and go wide eye)

Grunt B: Oh, I see...
(Grunts switch position)
Grunt B: Just 'cause we switched places, you can't tell who we are anymore?!
Grunt A: Who cares about that anyway?!
Didn't even see that Eminem reference originally, lol.

(Entering Po Town's Pokemon Center)
Grunt A: Ready for fly rhymes in your ear, yo?
But, yo, what're you doin' here, yo?
Grunt B: Yo, it's darker than Darkrai up in here, you.
I'm gettin' scared like I met with a Fearow!
Ain't nobody around. I'm feelin' kinda down,
but I'm still holdin' it down here in Po Town!
Hey, yo, spin it, Spinda!
Spinda: Spi-spin! Spi-spi-spin!
Grunt A: So listen up, intruder.
She wants money, but it always eludes her!
Team Skull, represent! We can't pay the rent!
Had a lot of fun, but our youth was misspent!
Grunt B: This Pokemon Center is where we cower,
but we can't pay bills, so we got no power!
If you give us $10, we will help you out,
by healing your team before your next bout!
(Player selects "Sounds good, yo")
Grunt A: I knew we could count on you, yo!
Thanks to you, we can make do, yo!
Grunt B: Cash makes us perky.
So even though you were a bit jerky,
I'll heal up your team so you can do work-y!
They also rap something funny if you say "no" but I forgot what it was.

(Grunt outside Shady House's hedge, waving to a grunt on the other side)
Grunt: What is wrong with him?! Doesn't he see that we're gettin' invaded here?!
(Grunt on other side of hedge)
Grunt: What is wrong with him? Why does he keep staring at me? Does he see how hot I am or something?!
(Two female grunts in Shady House)
Grunt A: OH EM GEE! Please don't tell me that's my Skull Tank you're wearing?
Grunt B: Ohhh, no wonder it stinks! It is the same design, though.
Grunt A: It does not stink! That's a lovely aroma! Anyway, we should write out names on them so we don't mix them up.
Grunt B: Uhmm, hello! Our names are all Grunt. What's the point?
(They notice the player and Grunt A battles but loses)
Grunt B: Whoa, that was, like, so uncool! I'll get revenge for you... while still wearing your Skull Tank!
(Grunt B battles and loses)
Grunt B: Ugh! Her Skull Tank was too tight for me! It was so distracting that I lost! It's all her fault!
(After beating Guzma he leaves, giving you a chance to sit on his chair. Doing so right after beating him the first time has this happen)
(Player sits on Guzma's chair, Skull encounter music plays and and a male grunt runs up)
Grunt: 'Scuze me, B...
(Grunt realizes its the player and music stops, looking around)
Grunt: B-b-but you're not the boss?! What's the deal, homie?! You're not the boss of me?!
(Grunt turns around)
Grunt: Hmph!
(Grunt walks out)
(Returning to Po Town's Pokemon Center in the post game)
Grunt A: Ready for fly rhymes in your ear, yo?
But, yo, what're you doin' here, yo?
Grunt B: This is what's left of our Team Skull hideout.
Gotta get paid, and then we gonna ride out!
Team Skull leftovers represent!
We may have lost, but we don't ever relent!
I fell like we fell right in the abyss...
And so, why'd you come to a place like this?
The clothes you're wearin' are so unbearable.
To tell you the truth, I find it quite hysterical!
Hey, yo, check Spinda spin it!
Spinda: Spi-spin! Spi-spi-spin!
Grunt A: Looks like you got no sense of fashion, yo.
Don't you know that that's our passion, yo?
Grunt B: I'll show you what we got to help you decide.
We got tops more fly than Charizard Glide!
We got the roughest tank tops that you've ever seen.
And when you wear a Skull Tank, you're sure to look mean!
Spinda: Spi-spin! Spi-spi-spin!
Grunt B: With a price so low, you can't say no.
It's just $10,000. You wanna buy one, yo?
(Player picks "Yeah, I'll take it")
Grunt B: Makin' mad sales to get out of this scrape.
Gonna get that money and make our escape!
Spinda: Spi-spin! Spi-spi-spin!
BTW, every time a male grunt spots you they'll shout out a word you may not understand. The word is "dokuro", which is Japanese for "skull". The male grunts are yelling out "Skull!" when they spot you, because we always had to have one grunt yelling out their team's name.
 
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Further proof that my mind has been left to rot in the gutter, in Sun/Moon if you face Acerola third in the Elite Four match and talk to her she says this:

You've made it to third base!
Now you've just got to bring it home!
Or would this be second base?
I don't really get baseball metaphors...
 
Team Skull in general, of course.

Another good one is probably "F's" (Whoever could that be? /s) blog, where the entire thing oozes arrogance. It even starts with "Are you interested in success, dear readers?"
 
Further proof that my mind has been left to rot in the gutter, in Sun/Moon if you face Acerola third in the Elite Four match and talk to her she says this:

You've made it to third base!
Now you've just got to bring it home!
Or would this be second base?
I don't really get baseball metaphors...
Talking about 3rd base, I'm afraid we're kindred spirits my friend...


If you didn't think the same thing I did when I read this then you're a precious, precious cinnamon roll of a human being who is just too damn precious for this world and you should never, ever, change.
 
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